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Drag that you're separated and that it's gone on for a few months already. Did she cheat ago and you cheated recently? The easy way to look at that is "we're even, it's in the past, we're devoted to our future, the subject is CLOSED" and then, it actually HAS to be closed. That means that even if she loses her job, stops doing laundry, doesn't get out of bed for months, buys an entirely new wardrobe, crashes the car, or anything it isn't discussed again. That goes for you as well. Meaning, even if you do all those things and take a one-month camping/hunting/fishing trip with your best (male) friend, the affair discussions are never brought up again. The *(# storm presenting itself is the unresolved discussion over the affairs and why they happened. NEVER SAY, "It didn't matter". When men learn this sentence is deadly to them? Of course it matters, you had sex with someone. It not matter to YOU, it matters to HER. So, discuss why the affair/s happened, how much you each know they hurt the other partner, how you two have determined to address the problem of why each of you was drawn elsewhere so it NEVER EVER happens again. You can have that discussion in counseling so each of you knows the parameters to discuss (affair) and keep the discussion on track. She might be hardened to you if she cheated ago and you cheated recently. In a woman's eyes, if her affair is in the past and now you're choosing to cheat, it would be hard to it as "equal" in the cheating realm. Is there a reason we need to know what she did to you? As with the ltr/marriage group, I have to say I feel your individual circumstances need to be private and remain within your marriage. The explanations aren't helpful only more reason to be angry. If your relationship is at the tit-for-tat stage ("I'll clean the garage, when you do the laundry"), it definitely isn't and you must make a plan to speak with a counselor as it only get worse. Good luck, - Sexy wives looking nsa Porto Alegre
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